L’s eyes eased open to the soft, white, dawn light that filled the room. He slowly lifted himself into a sitting position, wincing at the pain from his cold, stiff joints and examined the room. The room was cold, for the fire had died during the night and shards of colored glass littered the floor where bulbs and ornaments had been broken the previous day, mostly by Mello.
L sat cross-legged facing the hearth and continued surveying his surroundings when he noticed Matt for the first time.
The three-year-old lay, the majority of his torso and abdomen against the foot of the couch, his crimson hair splayed wildly across the floor. L looked strangely at the toddler before resuming his search now looking for a blonde head of hair somewhere on the floor but the child was nowhere to be found.
There was a snorting groan and the blonde rolled over L’s head and landed in his lap with a ‘whump’.  L blinked once, confused, then curled his lip with disgust as the four-year-old gurgled and slobbered all over his leg.
“Chocolate mousse,” the toddler muttered blissfully, clinging to L’s leg.
L stood, placing Mello on the couch where Near lay as well, curled up snug in the corner. L looked in envy at the cozy albino two-year-old and felt the sudden urge to cuddle the warmth out of the child. It was freezing! The raven-haired teen hugged his arms and shivered.
Why is it so friggin cold in here?! He thought, noticing the abnormality in temperature.
L looked around the room again. The heater was running. The hum and rattle of the air ducts could attest to that. Even though they were on the ground floor, with the heat going the room shouldn’t have been that cold.
He eyed the window. L quietly padded to the sill, being careful to avoid the shattered glass, and looked out.
His eyes widened and a smile creased his lips, “Meloooo, Maaaatt! Wake uup guuuuys! You’re gonna wanna see thiiis!”
Matt snorted and his leg twitched, almost toppling him over.
Mello groaned and flopped over onto his stomach. “Shut up, L! Just thirty more minutes!”
“But you’re gonna wanna see this!”
The blonde sat up on his elbows and glared at the young detective.
“Is the world made out of chocolate?”
“Uhh, no”
“Are evil nut aliens invading earth?”
“No.”
“Is Matt getting married?”
“Not to my knowledge.”
“Then I don’t care!” Mello planted his head in the couch cushions with a final yell.
There was a short silence. “But you’re gonna wanna see this!”
“Graaaaaah!” Mello exclaimed. “Fine! You know what? Fine!”
The cross blonde marched huffily to the window, “What i-?” he was stopped mid-sentence. Mello stared out the window, entranced by the virginal sheet of snow covering the ground outside the Wammy house.
“I told you, you’d want to see this.” L said smartly.
Mello squealed and ran back to the sofa, “Oh my god! Matt wake up! It’s snowing!”
L smiled as he watched the blonde’s futile attempts to wake the red-head, tipping him over in the process.
“Maaatt! MATT! L, Matt won’t wake up!” Mello yelled in despair.
“It’s okay. I’ve got this covered.” L replied, returning to the sofa. “Zelda.”
The red-head sat up immediately, “ORCARINA OF TIME!” then collapsed back down to sleep.
Mello stared strangely at the unconscious three-year-old. “Mario.”
Matt once again shot up. “DELFINO ISLAND!” Just as he began to collapse again, Mello caught his head.
“Stupid! You better not go back asleep!” the golden-haired toddler shouted.
L rolled his eyes at the spectacle before him. The young detective sat himself next to the still sleeping Near and gently nudged the cozy little toddler. “Hey Near, wakey wakey little boy.”
The toddler rolled over and giggled as L continued tickling and babbling to him.
Matt now semi-conscious, Mello turned to look disapprovingly at the dark-haired teenager. “L, you’re making weird-“he stopped to sniff the air, “butter.”
“I’m making weird butter?” L turned to look oddly at the blonde.
“No!” Mello exclaimed before scenting the air again, “butter…sugar…salt…and…and…”
The child trailed off in thought momentarily but just as L was about to say something, Mello burst into action.
“CHOCOLATE!” he dove to a tall, nearby table and started sniffing all around it like a dog.
L walked over to the wild toddler and placed a hand on his unkempt blonde hair as he observed the contents on top of the table, for of the four orphans he as the only one tall enough to see the top of the table. A silver tray with three bowls of oatmeal on it and a small vase with cosmos in it, rested on the top of the table. A small card with a name on it protruded from underneath each bowl, reading from right to left: L, Mello, (and under the smallest bowl) Near. L noticed in the corner of the tray, another small card with one word written in neat script: Charity
L smiled despite himself while Mello clawed desperately at the elder orphan’s leg.
“Chocolate?! Chocolate!!” he squeaked
L looked oddly at the child before gingerly handing him his prescribed bowl. Mello snatched the bowl up, eagerly examining the contents though his countenance fell as his examination revealed only a bowl of oatmeal with semi-melted chocolate chips sprinkled generously over the top.
“I hate oatmeal.” Mello said completely deflated,
“Come on. Don’t be so picky.” L chided as he picked up his and Near’s bowls and walked back to the sofa.
The cross blonde stared disdainfully at L’s back as he followed the raven teen to the couch. “I still hate oatmeal…” he muttered, picking the melty chocolate chips out of the bowl of loathed oats.
“What about me?!” Matt asked staring longingly at the bowls of food.
“Oh. I guess they forgot you, Matt.” L replied apologetically.
“Everyone always forgets about me!” the poor three-year-old wailed.
“That’s not true Matt!” Mello attempted to comfort the red-head as he knelt next to him.
“Yes it is!”
“Name one time!”
“Now.”
“…Okay, name two times!”
“Three days ago.”
Mello opened his mouth as if to protest but abruptly shut it.
L only shook his head and went about feeding Near after taking a bite of his own oatmeal which he noticed, to his delight, was more sugar than oats.
Mello looked indecisively from his bowl to matt and back again, “Matt,” he said finally. “You can have some of mine.”
Matt’s green eyes met Mello’s cerulean ones in a meaningful gaze. “Thanks Mello” he said.
“Now say ‘Ahhh’!” the blonde said holding up a spoonful of oatmeal.
“Ahhh- AUGH! Mello! That was my nose!”
L rolled his eyes, And they said I made weird noises.
)(*___’____’____’___*)(
The small group, now finished with their breakfast, proceeded down the hallway, led by the giddily skipping Mello.
“Snow, snow, snow, snow, snooow!” the blonde sung in blissful euphoria.
It was painfully obvious where the child was leading them and L grimaced at the thought of the musty hell that was the coat closet. As orphans the children of Wammy house didn’t actually own much, so in the colder seasons a menagerie of hand-me-down winter apparel in an assortment of sizes and colors was provided. L could say confidently, from first-hand experience, that going through that closet was worse than the seventh circle of hell.
They were soon standing before the dreaded oak door, painted a dark faux mahogany.
L groaned. “Do we have to do this?”
“Of course we did! Do you want us to freeze when we go outside?” Mello said, tugging on the door. “ L! open it!”
L sighed. I give up
Mello couldn’t seem to stand still and danced around as L eased open the heavy door. L honestly could have drowned in the musty odor that reeked from the open door and he wrinkled his nose at the offensive smell. Even poor Near gave a little cough and L cradled the infant close to him, as if to protect him, but sure enough the small child kicked and bounced, his unspoken sign that he wanted down. L hesitantly let the child crawl into the piles of strange, disheveled coats and scarves. Mello, with apparent disregard to the smell, dove into the piles of clothes, picking coats up, trying them on, and casting them away. The young detective reluctantly entered the closet taking a last glimpse of freedom over his shoulder as the heavy door creaked shut after Matt.
)(*___’____’____’___*)(
L gulped in the clean, crisp air as a welcome relief from the disgustingly palpable air of the closet as he violently pushed open the heavy wooden doors of the Wammy house main entrance. As he stood gasping for air Mello ran past him, quite a humorous sight bundled up as the toddler was, and jumped into the snow.
It was never a problem finding Mello in the snow on account of his unusual blonde hair but even now with it hidden by his jacket hood it was impossible to lose him. Mello wore a poofy, fluorescent orange coat with the hood drawn tight over his head so that only his eyes were visible. Accenting this was a pair of bright green and purple polka-dotted mittens, some white snow pants with a green floral pattern, and duck-yellow rain boots that came up to his knees. The rest were dressed relatively normally, Matt wearing a large black and red checkered coat that almost came down to his ankles with worn fur lining and a fur cap with ear-flaps, Near a small white snowsuit that he had grown quite attached to while rummaging through the closet, and L a long, thin, navy jacket that went down to mid-thigh, black ear mitts and a gray and green striped scarf wrapped snugly around his neck.
Mello balled a handful of snow into a snowball and held it back to throw it, “Snowball fight!” the blonde yelled.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa there!” L said, hastily quelling the poised snowball “Ahhaha, let’s put that away now.”
Mello dropped the snowball looking disappointedly at L, “You can’t play in the snow and not have a snowball fight!”
“Yes you can!” L insisted, “There’s plenty of stuff to do other than pelting each other with rock-hard balls of ice.”
“Oh, yeah? Like what?” sarcasm put the characteristic venom in the child’s words.
“Erm…like…like…a snowman! Yeah, we can make a snowman!”
Mello stared at L with a look that seemed to say “You’ve got to be kidding me.” But in a flash he snapped on a cheesy grin. “Ok, L! You wanna make a snowman? Let’s make a snowman!” the blonde said through his teeth.
He quickly conjured a short snowman with two body segments and coal black rings underneath the button eyes.
“Wow,” L said simply, staring in an odd manner at the makeshift creation. “It’s me.”
While L spoke Mello had climbed the three steps leading to the main entrance and now jumped off smashing the snowman with much grandeur.
“BOOSH! Bwahahahahaa! KA BOOSH, BOOSH, BOOSH!” the child exclaimed in crooked ecstasy as he crushed all the remaining lumps of “L”.
L could only watch, his expression revealing the fact that he was extremely disturbed, disturbed being a very kind term.
“…You are one strange, twisted little boy.” L said, watching as Mello continued his rampage.
“Hey! L! Mello! Salve Bambini!” a familiar voice shouted across the yard.
The orphans turned to see, several yards off, a miniaturized figure on the horizon waving and shouting enthusiastically.
L smiled, “Sincerity.”
The raven walked toward the distant figure, near in hand, taking long strides through the calf deep snow.
“L? Where are you going? L! L!!! What’s a Sincerity?!” Mello squealed running after him, dragging Matt through the snow behind him.
L approached Sincerity, still followed closely by the toddlers, and he noticed that she stood by a young evergreen clad in popcorn garland. Sincerity was a plump young girl a year younger than L, Italian born but raised in the British orphanage after the tragic death of her parents in a house fire. She had long  mid-back length black hair and dark brown eyes that glittered when she spoke. She wore a wool lined lavender coat, about the same length as L’s own with matching suede boots and black slacks.
“Oh, salve L! Salve! Oh! Salve bambini!” her voice was giggly, like a bubbling brook, as she spoke.
“Salve, Sincerity.” L replied
Mello stared strangely at the the two, “Say what?!”
Sincerity giggled again and patted Mello on his hood. “Oh You’re just so cute!...and colorful.” She said, observing his vibrant choice of clothing.
“Waughhhh!” Mello cried clinging to Matt, “Keep your cooties off me!”
Sincerity giggled even harder and looked wickedly at L out of the corner of her eye.
L could only stare aghast at the four-year-old, “I-I swear, I did not teach him that.”
Before Sincerity could reply, the tree beside her rustled and another girl emerged from behind it, stringing some popcorn garland through her fingers.
“Oh um, sorry. I didn’t mean to- I mean I wasn’t…I wasn’t eavesdropping…” the girl stuttered in a high pitched whispery voice.
The girl was almost completely identical to Sincerity in clothing and appearance but she was thinner then the other and her voice was less sultry, like a whispery breeze. The two were obviously twins and L recognized the second just as quickly as he had recognized the first.
“Charity.” L said the girl’s name with a pleasant chuckle.
“Charity and Sincerity?” Mello said, staring oddly at the twins, to which he received a prompt kick from L.
Charity glanced at L briefly but averted her eyes.
“I wanted to thank you for breakfast this morning. It was delicious. I thoroughly enjoyed it.”
“Yeah, says you.” Mello muttered, crossing his arms.
L kicked the toddler discreetly though Charity seemed not to notice the comment for she just blushed furiously and continued muttering to herself as she stared at her feet.
“Th-thank you. It-it was no trouble. If you liked it…I could maybe make it again for you sometime…” she murmured
L grinned at the thought of more free breakfast, “I would like that.”
“Whaaaat?! You made L breakfast and you didn’t tell me?! You jerk! Some sister!” Sincerity whined yanking at her sister’s coat sleeve.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- I mean I meant to tell…” Charity trailed off, muttering to herself.
“Can we go inside now?! I’m cooold!” Mello squealed.
“But we just came out.” L said defensively
“Oh, come on! Let’s go in!” Sincerity giggled, clinging to L’s arm, “I’ll make you some hot cocoa!”
“But…but Roger said it was our job to decorate the outside of the house today.” Charity said, looking a little betrayed as Sincerity walked off with L.
Sincerity looked irritatedly back at her sibling, “Oh don’t get your panties in a bunch! We can always do it later.”
“But…Roger said-“
“If we did everything Roger said then we would never have any fun!”
L pried himself free of Sincerity’s grasp and took several steps away from the girl, “Hey, its okay. Maybe another time. You guys are busy so we’ll just go.”
Before either of the twins could object L was quickly ushering the children back to the main entrance.
“ Smooth, L. Real smooth.” Mello said sarcastically.
“No one asked you.” L replied
)(*___’____’____’___*)(
Mello and Matt shivered, cold and wet, by the fireplace in Roger’s private study. The circular room with the tree was the only room with a public hearth and that room was buzzing with Christmas Eve activity, which L did not have the energy to deal with at the moment.
Roger’s study was well insulated with humongous rich leather chairs encircling the small hearth parallel to the door. A long bookshelf took up the right wall and a desk with a small kitchen next to it occupied the left wall. The small kitchen consisted of a 12 by 18 inch counter, a small well stocked overhead cabinet, a microwave oven and a miniature refrigerator.
L observed the kitchen from his position behind the sitting toddlers and, upsetting Near from his cozy place in the crook of L’s arm, set the albino toddler in Mello’s lap.
Mello stared, baffled, at the child for several moments.
“Ew! L, its on me!”
“Near is a ‘he’ not an ‘it’.” L retorted, “Now listen. I need you to look after Near and make sure he doesn’t get into anything while I go and make us some hot cocoa.”
Mello looked away, irritated. “you should have just gotten Sincerity to make it. She seemed eager enough.”
“One, the girl can’t cook. Two, never trust women.” With that L walked over to the kitchen and began preparing the hot chocolate.
Near noticing the absence of L’s warmth, did his best to stand up and flopped over Mello’s shoulder, reaching out after l as he walked away.
‘”Augh! Matt! Its on me! Get it off!” Mello squealed, picking near up and holding him out at arms length.
Near’s big, round, onyx eyes stared into Mello’s cerulean ones in an awkward unblinking gaze that brought with it a long silence.
Mello finally broke the  uncomfortable silence as he leaned over to matt, who had crawled to Mello’s side to stare at the albino toddler, and whispered. “What are we supposed to do with it?”
“Why are you asking me? I don’t know anything about babies.” Matt replied.
Mello sighed and rolled his eyes, “Well let’s get this straight, I am not the wife in this relationship.”
)(*___’____’____’___*)(
L took a step back and surveyed his handiwork.
4 cups of cocoa in under 10 minutes,
Not to bad if he said so himself.
Each of the cups hade something characteristically different about it, Matt and Near’s being the only ones that looked remotely drinkable. Matt’s was normal hot cocoa with 5 or 6 mini marshmallows floating around the top, Near’s, some warm chocolate milk in a sippy cup,  but it was L’s and Mello’s that were the real oddities.
Mello’s being more cocoa powder than water, was as black as coffee and had the consistency of mud. L’s was normal except for the stack of mini marshmallows that protruded from the mouth of the mug, making his twice as tall as the other mugs.
L grabbed the mugs and walked between two leather chairs, back to the orphans clustered round the fire. “Hey, I g-“
L stopped himself mid-sentence as one of the rarest sights in the world met his eyes. Mello and Matt sat cross-legged across from each other while Mello played with Near who sat in Matt’s lap. Mello smiled in honest contentment every time he made Near laugh or smile and Matt watched in silence, grinning like a proud father.
L could only stare at the picture perfect scene before him: the three orphans, grief unknown to the world, creating their own sanctuary, their own banner under which to hide in the discreet light of the fire. He smiled sadly. To think, in less than a year he would be 15 and out of the orphanage, off to begin his promising career as a private investigator. He couldn’t stop his thoughts his thoughts from wandering to such dismal things. The thought of leaving the orphans plagued his conscience, all sorts of questions assailing his troubled mind.
What will they think of me?
What will happen to them after I leave?
When I see them again, how much will they have changed?
Will they still be the same orphans or will I even be able to recognize them?
Of all these questions one terrified him over all the rest and his sub-conscious clung to it, ringing his fears over and over in his mind.
I’m scared to death, that I’ll come back and they’ll hate me. I’ll come back and I’ll have lost the only family I ever had. They’ll hate me. I won’t be able to stand it. I’ll die. They’ll hate me. They’ll all hate me.
L choked back the emotion that otherwise would have broken loose and sat down with the children, setting the hot chocolate by him.
“Hey, guys.” He whispered, not trusting himself to speak any louder.
“Its about time!” Mello exclaimed, ditching near and snatching up his mug of cocoa. The four-year-old chugged the whole mug in one breath in one breath then set it down with a contented sigh, revealing the chocolate smeared around his mouth. “I needed that.”
L chuckled weakly and wiped the chocolate away from Mello’s mouth with his sleeve, leaving dark brown marks on the white fabric. He tossed a couple marshmallows into his mouth and looked around the room. He wanted to distract himself from his dark thoughts.
He had to.
L soon found himself watching matt as he fed near his chocolate milk, like a mother bottle-feeding a baby.
“I didn’t know you were so motherly Matt.” L said with a smile.
“I told you I wasn’t the wife in this relationship.” Mello remarked curtly.
L and Matt spoke in unison as they glared at the blonde. “No one asked you, Mello!”

The four finished their hot cocoa and continued about the day, playing and talking of all sorts of things. L remained withdrawn for the remainder of the day, plagued by his own thoughts, but as all days do, the evening light soon turned to the darkness of night and wammy house fell into an anxious sleep, anticipating Christmas on the morning. But one restless orphan could not find rest for his troubled mind in the confines of sleep and sneaked through the dark halls of the orphanage, returning to the fire lit refuge of Roger’s private study.
)(*___’___’___’___*)(
L lay on his belly before the fire in Roger’s study, staring at the pages of his thick pre-algebra book. He had decided to do some algebra homework to get his mind off of his up-and-coming departure and, sure enough, it had worked but now he was more irritated then before. L furrowed his brows and tapped his pencil on the book in agitation. Finally l slammed the book shut and pushed himself up onto his knees.
“You know what?” L said, clenching the book. “Algebra can burn in he-“
“L?”
L, just as he was about to toss his pre-algebra book into the hearth, twisted around at the sound of the familiar voice and dropped the book as he saw Mello standing in the doorway.
“heeeemorrhage.” L finished the sentence awkwardly.
“Um,” the teen coughed. “So uh, Mello. What’s wrong?”
Mello shuffled his feet and stared at the ground as he spoke, “I had a bad dream and…you weren’t in your room so I came down here looking for you. I was wondering…if I could stay up…with you.”
L stared at the toddler for a moment before he broke into an irresistible smile. He chuckled and dropped into a cross-legged position, patting his lap. “Of  course. Come here.”
Mello scurried over and curled up in l’s lap, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his head on L’s chest. L wrapped his arms around Mello and rocked him gently back and forth.
“I’m tired, L.” Mello squeaked out.
“So am I.” L said.
A small hiccup sounded from the hallway and L looked up.
“Its okay guys. You can come out now.”
Matt emerged from the darkness of the hallway carrying the sleeping Near. “I-I wanted to follow Mello but I didn’t want to leave Near and-“the red-head stuttered
“Its okay. I understand. You come here to.”
Matt padded over gingerly and snuggled into L’s side, letting near flop over onto L’s leg.
L chuckled but his amusement was interrupted when Mello began crying softly into his chest.
“Mello? Mello. Hey, hey now…no more tears, okay? Its alright.” L said, tenderly brushing the tears from Mello’s face.
“No its not, L! Its not alright!” Mello’s voice cracked as he shouted. “We’re all alone.”
“What do you mean? Everyone’s here.”
“No! Not that…”
“What then?”
Mello pounded his fist into L’s chest. “God! We’re orphans! We’re orphans, L! No one wants us! No one cares about us! We’re alone.”
“That’s not true! You will all be adopted by nice families.”
“How do you know?! You spent your entire life here!!”
L was left dumbfounded and speechless by the child’s cutting remark.
This child…
Was just like him. They were the same.
The same human beings with the same worries. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them but the truth was that they would never be adopted. As was L, they would be raised in the orphanage, never knowing the love of a mother or father, then sent away at 15 to spend the rest of their inevitably short lives chasing down sex-offenders, drug dealers, and homicidal maniacs.
He wanted to cry along with Mello. More than anything he wanted to cry with him but his breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t bring himself to do or say anything.
The room had fallen into an awkward silence but finally Mello broke it, “I hate this place.”
“Mello-“L began.
“I miss my mom.” Mello croaked his voice hoarse from sobbing and shouting.
Another silence ensued as the orphans dismally pondered the words.
“Yeah.” L finally whispered, holding the blonde close to him. “I miss my mom to.”
Mello started to cry again but this time L looked into the child’s normally clear cerulean eyes, now a sad dark blue and misted with tears.
“Hey, hey. I said no more tears.” He said with a kind smile.
“You’re not mad?”
“No, I’m not. We can’t get mad at each other, ‘cus we have to stick together.”
“Yeah! ‘Cus that’s what families do!” Matt chimed in for the first time.
Mello sniffled, “Family?”
“Yeah. We’re family, silly. Didn’t you know that?” L said, playfully bopping Mello on the head.
Mello looked at the floor. “But…we won’t always be together…especially you L.”
L’s throat tightened. “What makes you think that? We’ll all be together forever. I promise.” He could barely choke out the words.
Mello looked back up into L’s onyx eyes. “R-really?”
No! Say no! Stop lying! Stop lying to them! They’re just children! It’ll crush them! Stop it! L’s sub-conscious screamed.
“Yes really,” L said with as much confidence as he could muster. “and we will always have Christmas together…like a family.”
Mello’s eyes immediately lit back up to their characteristic cerulean color and he smiled as his eyes eased shut. “That’s good…” he yawned drowsily.
“Yeah. This Christmas has been too fun…not to do again.” Matt managed to say, before slumping onto L.
L smiled at the exhausted orphans. “Merry Christmas,”
“Merry…Christmas,” Matt sighed.
“Merry Christmas, mom,” Mello said, snuggling into L’s chest
L’s eyes snapped open. “What?”
“L… I said L.” Mello recompensed, hiding his face.
The room grew silent again as the children dozed off and L was left with his thoughts.
How could you?! His mind chastised Tell them the truth! For the love of God tell them the truth!!
L paused for a moment, gripped by indecision, then gently shook Mello. “Mello…Mello.”
When Mello didn’t respond L carefully eased him over only to see his eyes shut and his chest rising slowly as his breathing deepened.
L turned to Matt and, sure enough, he to was sound asleep. L bit his lip, frustrated, confused. Finally, L picked up the sleeping children and carried them upstairs, tucking them each into their own beds before returning to his own bedroom where he cried himself into a troubled sleep.